odd hyung


I haven't written anything here in ages. I miss Russia, I miss Kuban, I miss the people I met there, the cold, the smell, the air, the place, the tea i was drinking with my roomate, the indonesian food Julio made, the jokes i shared with the Tito, Andy explaining what thanksgiving is, Shabo calling me Flllllllllllllllllllllora from across the hall, translating from greek to english the rules of duraka for Ellis to understand while washing the dishes, taking a walk to the city's beautiful park, going to Goryach Klyuch, staying in the freezing cold after we went to a club, eating with the greek fellas in a sushi restaurant, watching korean movies with Hyujin, having to explain to the guys in the dorms that i didn't go to the class because of my period, all the beautiful funny moments i've lived there for a month. I want to go back. I want to move on. But I can't do either.

Internship Weeks 3+4

I had technical problems these days (i lent my laptop to my dear classmate and future colleague-researcher -i just love her so much- multiple times because she needed a program for her thesis) so I'll write everything I can remember from these weeks.

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Internship Week 3

As I explained in the previous post on Mondays I'm going to the administrative office, which is close to my home. Finally, we got to meet our supervisor. She was sick for a week and during the last week I didn't go to the office so I didn't have a chance to meet her. She was described as very nice by the two guys and she was indeed. Yet, I felt that she lacked in some things. She is a psychotherapist, which is fine for her job, it's not like she does anything with it. Her job is being a social counselor so she doesn't really practice therapy. Anyway, my problem with her was that when she started explaining about the nursing home we'd visit this week, her knowledge contradicted mine. She supported the use of Mini Mental Examination (it's a test to check cognitive impairment in elders) as a very solid test when it's not. I told her what I knew about the recent studies that show that an elder with great education can easily surpass the difficulty of the test and she acted like I didn't speak. I mean, I know that she attended the same university as me but 20 years ago there wasn't a class about geropsychology. Plus, she chose to study therapy and they rarely learn about cognitive and neuropsychological examinations. I've worked twice in researches about elders and during the four years I've studied I've learned and applied over 20 tests. It's not like it could influence her job but as a psychologist you're supposed to be a professional/researcher and keeping up with the new studies, specially when you check faculties of populations like elders.

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I heard more interesting stories, but I shared only a couple because that post is already long and I'm tired of writing. Next week, we are going to a center of daily care for elders. This is the first time I hear about this, I don't know what it is either.

Internship Week 1 & Week 2

It's been a long time since I wrote something in my blog. I don't know how I do it but it's always full of negativity. Anyway, I want to revive it so I'll start writing about my experience in the internship I'll be doing till May. Before I start writing down the things I did and learned, I have to make something clear. My school requires practice in a public organization before one gets the diploma so there is a list of all the organizations offering positions for students and pay them. Each student chooses three positions in different organizations and then there is a lottery. Which is one of the most unfair procedures they could think because
A)some students haven't passed 10-20 classes so they won't be getting a diploma in their 4th bachelor degree year anyway,
B)a student with much lower grades can go to a more prestigious position (and don't tell me this is about equality, i earned my grades, they could have done the same),
C)a student with an orientation -let's say clinics- can choose positions in organizations which require different skills and knowledge -let's say cognitive/experimental-,

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I'll try updating the blog every week. Next week we'll go to a nursing home.

Is it 2014 yet

Happy new year everyone!

2013 didn't start well and didn't end well.There were some great moments, the trip to Russia tops that list, but overall it wasn't a great year.Ever since 2012 things go downhill and I'm still wondering when it will go up.My patience ran out and I'm the most pessimistic I've ever been.
During this period I managed to get distracted with fandoms, be more open about my feelings to people around me (having long conversations with my sister and bff helped), get estranged from my family except my sister and my cousin, lose weight and gain weight, dealed with my anxiety and psoriasis, dyed my hair, accepted that my plans don't work so I stopped making them and many other things.
So I'm starting this year with no resolutions and hoping that I won't be disappointed once again. I'm back to going with the wind. It may not be the best for me but right now it's the only thing that can work. I'll appreciate the small moments of everyday life and try my best to everything.

Winter is coming

I wish this post was about GoT but it isn't. It's about the scholarship I was supposed to get for my grades. Guess what! I won't get it. I was fourth in line but since the first two girls were rich as fuck, the next two girls were supposed to get it. Today I went to ask when I'll receive my paycheck because my cousin who also got the scholarship already received the money. And the secretary was like "Oh yeah,it's you. Uhm there was a problem in your case and one of the first girl objected and got the scholarship instead of you. How come we didn't reach you, I'm sure we called". If I wasn't so shocked that time I'd probably slap that bitch. They knew this since February and nobody called me to inform me that I won't get any money. So I called in the national foundation's office and asked to explain what the fuck happened and I'm out. They told me that the first girl's grades were over 8.50. In this case whatever your parents income is doesn't matter, you still get the money.

1.400€. For a girl whose parents' income was over 50.000€, which means that probably both of her parents worked and had good salaries. Both my parents don't work and their income is under 17.000€. But they gave the money to her, because she had good grades. I'm not blaming the girl for studying hard and receiving a prize. Give her a fucking honor's title, why are you giving her money when she's already rich? Give the money to someone who needs it. To someone who would use this money to pay for IELTS exams, for applications' fees, for surviving in this country for another two semesters till she gets her diploma.

This is so unfair.

And the thing that hurts the most is that I'd use the money to study in Ukraine for a month. I'd do something for me once. But the money I have won't allow me to do anything.

I'm a masochist after all

I never thought that choosing my thesis' topic would be a pain in the ass. I don't understand why I'm doing this to myself tbh. The good thing is the professor is excited for some odd reason and she somehow told me that she's planning on publishing my thesis if it turns out great. Can you imagine? Being published as a scientist before I even have my diploma? It's a huge honor and pretty great for my resume. That's why I plan on giving my best even though I'll spill blood. The topic isn't hard. Finding the sample is hard since I chose something similar to a research that took place in Denmark with Turk immigrants. I chose ex USSR immigrants. They aren't hard to find in my neighborhood but each one has to complete neuropsychological tests for an hour and idk if they have the patience to do it. I did made some changes in tests and  I want to finish this part before late September or October so I can go to Ukraine dammit, give the paper in the winter semester and start the applications for master's. The next semester is going to be a nightmare!

Team therapy helped a lot.I got more ways to deal with anxiety now and I'll probably use them a lot the next days because I have many things to do. I was waiting for my exams to be over but still I haven't felt relaxed for a minute. At least I got paid and I can spend my summer without worrying about that part. I'll soon get the money from the scholarship too.

This was supposed to be a huge entry about everything but I realized I can't do any huge entries these days.So I'll have a different approach to my blog and try to write each entry with a different topic.

This gif is my life rn:


When I watched Night Watch I was like

But after I read the first book I'm like


I can write essays on the book and Anton is so presh,let me love you! I love how Khabesky basically played the drunk version of Anton but the scene where he write Egor's name on the board made me cry ;A; The ending also made me cry even though that didn't happen in the book. I think that Khabesky is one charming mofo even though he's not pretty but I'd totally hit it if I could. Him and Chadov #sexualfrustration
I have rewatched the first movie three times already,I can't get enough! The second was more fun because of the bodies swapping and the party. But Egor was such a dick! Poor Anton <3


Hello people of livejournal!

I'm finally done with my exams and papers and I'm so happy.My semester starts in two weeks so I'll have some time to do other stuff I like.Anyway some news:
  • I got the job in the campus.I'll be working in the library starting next week.This week I'll help the secretaries do some stuff.I'll be working from February to May and October to November for 5 hours a week.
  • The bad thing is that I probably won't be able to go to Ukraine for a month in October as I was planning.The teacher sends students each year to study russian in Kiev and Krasnodar.Last year I didn't go because I didn't have money and I couldn't communicate,I knew basic stuff.But after the award I received for my grades I told my teacher that I can go this year.I told him today that I won't be able to and he told me that most of the scholarships are announced in August so he'll try to find something for me in September (yay).Also I'll join in a contest about Chekhov.There are two texts to translate and I have to say one of them is so difficult! I read the first paragraph and I couldn't translate a word lol.But Chekhov's short story seems easy.We'll make a team with Panos and Vicky and the teacher said he'll help us in the difficult text.I asked him about the prizes, since they weren't being mentioned in the details and he told me that two years ago it was a trip to Russia yeshhhh.
  • I bought some cute clothes from Pin-Up today.I bought a red cute dress,only 10€ and two cute shirts,5€ each.
  • I also bought an SD card for my phone and I'm so pissed.I hate ZTE! It makes my life difficult everytime I want to change something in this phone.I bought the SD card because I wanted more space to download apps and games.But guess what.All the apps are saved in the internal memory and I can't change that.Correction,I can change that,I ran at some things I need to do but honestly the whole procedure is in english and I don't get the steps,it's so confusing! I spent three hours trying to change it and nothing ugh.So I have 8GB in my phone for nothing except some books.
  • About books: I watched The Night Watch and damn it was a really nice film but it was confusing so I started searching for the books online.I'll be honest here.My original purpose was to buy the books in english translation.But Public didn't have them.And any other bookstore here,except some which had the greek translation but the book was expensive.I found them on bookdepository and e-bay and I figured that I needed about 35€ to buy all the four books.I took a decision to wait for my first payment and buy them.But then reality hit me and I google "the watch series pdf" and tada! I find them all online oop and I started reading The Night Watch.May Sergei Lukyanenko forgive me but here we live for tzampa! I also borrowed from the library a book about Philip of Macedon because I stan him, Alexander can take a seat.
  • TMI: something is wrong with my period these days.I've spent almost 10 years of life vomiting water in the first day and being unable to get up from the bed.And I still remember the awful experience I had about a year ago.Since September my period comes late at evening, I feel pain on the first day,no vomiting.I like not vomiting but the duration of the pain is longer and it lasts for many days.So I take more pills and my waist is killing me.It's so weird.
Weird news I know but it took me about an hour to write this.I started watching The Lizzie Bennet Diaries on utube,so cute.